I stood at the front window Wednesday watching allergens from Nebraska and random parts of Iowa blowing down Manvel Avenue.
I suspect the wind blew them on to the Rio Grande Valley, where they will settle out, remaining dormant until a spring zephyr blows them back to the corn states with some Texas allergens mixed into the batch.
It’s a scenario that has been repeated for as long as I have had allergies, which is as long as I’ve been alive.
By Wednesday afternoon, I was sneezing. By Thursday morning, I had severe congestion alternating with severe drainage. And the sneezing remained.
For three days or so, I took Claritin like Pez and used enough sugar-free Ricolas to make my teeth hurt.
They seemed to help, but certainly didn’t make my symptoms go away.
Sunday morning, I was able to slow down enough to go to the Urgent Care in Shawnee, where a COVID-19 test and a look-see down my throat confirmed what I had self-diagnosed: No COVID, but world-class allergies.
I got a steroid shot that, fortunately, started to take effect in hours. I went home for a nap and was feeling better by the time I woke up.
A couple of years ago, I got a steroid shot and was advised that they can cause outbursts of energy.
“If you’ve been needing to mow the yard or vacuum the house, this would be a good day to it,” said the doctor.
I didn’t need to do either of those things Sunday evening, but I certainly would have plenty of energy if I had.
In fact, I was so wired, I couldn’t sleep. At all. The entire night.
All that sneezing, the congestion, the draining, the sleepless night, the sore teeth, all because Nebraska and Iowa can’t contain their allergens.
I believe the answer lies in a fine-net mesh barrier that we stretch across the Kansas border from Miami to Guymon. Make it high and make it impenetrable by dust or allergens.
We’ll engineer it to catch this stuff that makes us sick, with two other huge benefits.
1. We can trap the cornfield residue, filter it into sacks and sell it as garden soil. Instant economic boost for the state.
2. We can have vents in the barrier. Once the garden soil has been filtered and bagged, the vents will funnel the clean wind directly to windmill farms, creating lots of good electricity.
It’s a win-win-win.
I admit, there may be flaws in the plan that need to be addressed, but hey. After the way I felt Wednesday through Sunday morning, I’m ready to try it. Considering some of the ways we spend our tax money, I figure this is worth a shot.
Can I get an amen on that?
In the meantime, I am going to see if I can get on a waiting list for a head transplant.