It was an innocent request.
I was on my senior trip with my class, when my parents called and asked me to come to their hotel room.
As soon as they opened their door, I knew they were going to tell me something that was not as innocent as I hoped.
“Aunt Stephenie passed away,” my mom said.
I was shocked.
Stephenie had battled cancer the past few years; but after her surgery, we thought she was on the mend.
My parents and I were more than a thousand miles away from where we needed to be.
In the 1995 classic “Clueless”, Cher said, “She’s a full on Monet… It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s ok, but up close, it’s a big ol’ mess.”
At that moment, I felt like I was trying to understand a Monet painting; but, I was standing too close.
As I began to process what was happening, my parents told me they were going home for the funeral, and I was going to stay in Boston.
My heart sank. A million questions came to my mind all starting with
“Why?”
After they left, I had never felt more alone.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone about what happened.
I didn’t want to have to explain why I looked like I had been crying.
While my classmates were excited about Fenway Park, I was grieving.
Thankfully, I was able to stay in the room my parents were meant to stay.
After trying to be ok all day, I was more than a little excited to get to the hotel room for some solace.
As soon as I entered the room, I opened the curtains. I was awestruck by the view: the bustling people, bright lights, and continual sound.
For the first time since my parents left, I felt like life hadn’t stopped.
I was able to see life moving, breathing and unrelenting.
I was able to take a small step from grieving to celebrating the life my aunt had lived.
There were three days left on the trip, and I became unwilling to let it go to waste.
The best way to honor my aunt was to honor the time I had been given.
Even though I was alone, I was able to walk throughout Boston with a new found confidence.
Even though I was grieving, I was able to laugh.
My aunt’s death was unexpected and broke my heart, but it also spurred me on to live each day as if it was my last.
Life is a Monet.
Up close it can be a big mess, but if you take a few steps back you will see how beautiful it all is.