Resolution review

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  • Resolution review
    Resolution review
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Like me, you may have felt the slightest bit of a swerve at midnight Tuesday.

That was the calendar, with us as passengers, turning the corner into the second half of 2020, which is more difficult to believe than you might think.

Seems like it was only yesterday that we were wearing heavy coats and watching basketball. Now it’s July, and we’re sweating like road lizards and arguing about masks.

As fast as the last six months have gone, I think it is a good time to push in the clutch and do a quick review, specifically on how I have done on my New Year’s Resolutions.

I made three resolutions for 2020:

1. Eat no liver.

2. Do not visit Kazakhstan.

3. Live the Golden Rule.

Resolution No. 1.... Check. Liver makes me blow chunks, so this resolution is also a public service, because hey. You don’t want to be in the vicinity if someone tries to slip some giblets with liver into the gravy. It has happened before and it was traumatic for all involved.

Resolution No. 2... Check. I always include this in my resolutions because it’s as close as you can get to a slam dunk. I will always be able to keep one resolution, no matter how the rest of the year goes. How hard is it to not go to Kazakhstan? Well, Kazakhstan was actually looking pretty good with about two weeks to go before the election. I was within one more pointless Facebook argument of booking a ticket to Almaty, but things settled down and Kindra and I went to Arkansas instead. (While there, we saw a woman detained for trying to shoplift an air freshener, which raised several questions, all of which remain unanswered.)

Resolution No. 3... Hmmm. I have had moments where the little angel on my right shoulder has out-influenced the little devil on the left, but I probably shouldn’t check this one off the list just yet.

I remember that driver where the two lanes of traffic merged because of construction. He tried to pass a long line of cars that had merged when they were supposed to. I could see him coming in the rear view mirror, so I moved over just enough so that he couldn’t pass.

And there was that evening I sneaked into the kitchen and ate the rest of the rotisserie chicken. I feel kind of bad about that, but, dang. I’ve always been a sucker for cold chicken. Especially white meat.

As far as you know, those were my only two violations of the Golden Rule, so let’s move along and I’ll promise to do better the rest of the year.

I’ll even save an extra piece of white meat for someone else.